are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
