I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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