I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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