Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
