Welp...herpes.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
