belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wannas sexs uuuuu
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize