Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
