based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
