i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A+ Viking dick
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
