just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
