I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If that was your dad, he is hot
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
