Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
