I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
