maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
