Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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