omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
worst night to have a conscience
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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