i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
