We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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