I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
