also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
