things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
