I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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