So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
