If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
