I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
