Your tits are I can't wait for
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
