What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sext me about skeletons
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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