Betty ford says i'm here all night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
