I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
