I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
