would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
