i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
