i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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