my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
