I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
