I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
