It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have feelings that need drinking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
