But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
