no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
People in love make me want to vomit
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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