Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
