I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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