So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
