billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
