I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
