I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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