Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
