you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need a beard to bite.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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