what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
