I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
