i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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