Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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