i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
