i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I would fuck him just for his dog
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
