My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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