At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
