That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm going to jail i love you
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
