Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize