She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
