i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
