I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize