Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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