just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize