Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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