I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
