Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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