so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There r osticjed everywhere
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
