Please, let me fuck your mom
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
