dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
