you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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