I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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