Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
