I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
