so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
