Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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